today marks the 11mths of us being offically together.
and in one month time,
it will officially mark our one year anniversary.
and soon 4days after that,
u will be going in army for two years.
my heart has all the questioned longing to be asked.
my heart feels all the curiosity and anxiety.
time is drawing nearer.
and as each day pass,
i began to asked myself if i am strong enough to take it.
i began to slowly imagining u growin up,
and leaving my side.
i have been keepin u here for long,
its time i need to set u free to grow into a real man.
maybe this two years will cause a drastic change in us,
maybe in two yrs time we wouldnt be who we are anymore.
im holding on,
im cherish this one mth left for us.
im telling myself that when the time come,
i have to be strong.
yes,
i have not learnt how to grow up,
im still depending on u.
im still leaning on u to give me the warmth i asked for.
i tried to show as though im fine,
to be fine in everybody's eyes.
but deep down,
im struggling,
strugglin to tell myself to pick myself up.
struggling to tell myself to grow up.
my love for u is 100percent true.
they sae it will be a great test for us.
i have the confidence,
i just need more strength.
i want to be strong.
while u are inside,
i want to be smiling and waiting upon ur return.
i need to set u free to be a realman.
baby u noe wad?
no matter what matters to us in 1 mth,half yr,1 yr or even 2yrs from now,
i wan u to know im giving u my true blessing,
to let u be who u want to be.
and to show u that i reali love u.
this 11 mth together,
i wan to apologize.
apologize for being so paranoid and possesive to u.
sorry for holding on to u for so long.
i cant give u the best i can,
but only to let u have the best i have.
i tell myself,
joanna yong be strong.
and i am reali learning to be now.
it takes two hands to clap.
and i will give all i can to make this r/s worthwhile.
because,
its u who complete me.
no words can describe how much i truely love u or need u.
but i know u need to go ,
to learn to be a man.
and also to let our r/s go thru the strongest test ever.
time is drawing nearer.
and everydae im preparing myself.
i hope when the day come,
i will be smiling and bidding u goodbye.
being a reali strong person and not sheddin a tear.
