.the sweetest love of all.

im afraid.

Thursday, May 29, 2008 10:06 AM

If I were blue
would you be there for me
And whisper in my ears that's okay
Would you stand by me
let me hold you tight
And say you love me one more time

If I feel good
would you slow dance with me
And touch my lips with tender love and care
Would you die for me
would you run with me
And never look back

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be the one
to take my breath away…

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be the one
to take my breath away.

hello my secret love;
im missing you.
and its a obvious situation,
that we will never be as close as how we were anymore.
i jus want to be happi.
forever love,
i wanna be with u.

3wishes for my birthdae?
(for myself only)
-to be happy
-to be with ___,
-to hurry grow up=]]

wo yi rang hai ai zhe ni.
wo mei you fan qi.
wo bu neng mei you ni.
ru guo ni yi tian ni kai wo,
na shi de wo hui bian.
mei you ni de yi tian,
wo bu zhi dao yao zuo she me.
wo ai ni.
hen xiang gen ni zai yi qi,
hen xiang ni.

MRLIGHTBULB;
i see u from the far.
i noe u from a distance.
i noe u were nv there.
we were never meant to be.
we never know each other.
we've never been in love.
u're jus my imaginary love.
my imaginary boy.
thinking tt u actually existed,
are all jus my stupid illusion.

i love u.

Would you be there…

if i am away
would you stil think of me
and wish that you could hold me now, ~hold me now~
and would you die for me
would you run with me
all the way

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be the one
to take my breath away…

Would you be there to save my soul tonight
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be there
to kiss my pain away
would u be there…

Would you be there to love to be with me
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be the one
to take my breath away…

Would you be there to save my soul tonight
Would you swear that your love is always true
Would you say that you'll always be there
to kiss my pain away

too serious too soon.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 1:36 AM

hai yao duo jiu wo cai neng gou zai ni sheng bian?

i miss u.
i love u.
but i'll be gone soon.
zai wo zui hou yi ci,
bi shang yan jin zi qian,
wo xiang dui ni shuo wo ai ni.
dearest;
u're loved and missed.

u text me tt night.
sayin t u regret not loving me.
but i guess all this is just a lie.
maybe i'll be foolish to believe again.
maybe again,u're leading me on.
it hurts.
hurt so bad my boy.

sorry for being such a fool.

Friday, May 23, 2008 11:19 AM

im sorry for being such a fool.
sorry that i dun feel it too.
sorry for not knowing tt u used to be here.

my mind has been thinking.
many thought has been rummaging thru my mind.
i thought to myself.
'i realised that i actualli havent let go.'
i asked myself..
what's the reason behind all this.
i realised that im no longer the most important.
because your heart has someone else.
u said nobody can ever replaced HER in ur heart.
so i supposed;
i'll never be the one.

nowadays has been thinkin of derek and sky.
wondering how are they doing.
didnt get to see daddy for a LONGG period of time.
imisshim!!!
but i dunno if he ever misses me.

as i thought of the word daddy,
what comes into my mind is the word PAIN to describe it.
what lies behind these pain is a mystery.

my bdae's approachin in 1month4days time.
i wish for alot of thing=]].

DEREK-i wan daddy to make nuer the most happiest person on earth on tt dae,
even if i know after that dae,
most probably alot of things will changed between me n him,
at least i hope derek give me one last dae.
a dae to be hapi with him.
a dae for me to know tt i once had him close to my heart.
daddy,
even if u were to reali go,
please..
please give me a dae to spend it with u.
to spend it happily with u.
u once promised me to give me father love.
but where were u when i needed u?
i start to become even more independent without u.
i start to be strong.
i dun wish for anythin from u.
nuer just wan daddy to make me happi.
n promise yi bei zi with me.
daddy,
even though i noe u wouldnt be readin this.
but still i have to sae,
i need u .
i cant go back to a life when i first noe u.
cuz u've brought me too far from reality.
u have ur love.
i dun blame u.
u once hurt me.
lead me on.
i dun blame u too.
but i jus wan to be happi.
happi with u.
n i'll be contented.
maybe u have lied to me many times.
i jus dun wanna sae.
i rather let u see me as a naive person.
i jus wanted to care for u.
i noe u needed care.
even though i myself need it .
i'll give all my care,dote n attention to u.
i have always wanted to tell u alot of things.
but i noe,
even if i sae it out,
u wouldnt care.
u wouldnt noe what lies behind my tears.
i miss u daddy.

my onli bdae wish is only from derek.
there's nothing more i want to sae.
its jus a simple wish.

dear whoever up above in the sky,
please grant my wish.
this year,
im not being greedy.
im not asking for much.
i jus want happiness.
i may go around telling ppl different bdae wish ive expected.
but deep down wad i want is to be happi.
i dun wan to ask for much.
because i noe it will nv cum true.
i dare not wan more than anything.

maybe what lies in my heart,
nobody would know.
maybe what reali is going on in my life,
nobody understands too.

but still,
i fear.
i fear for 1june08 to approach.
i dun wish for tt dae to come..
i know it'll be another sad dae for me.
a nightmare.
another nightmare.
nightmare!nightmare!nightmare!
argh.
i dunno how am i going to pass thru tt dae.
my eyes would be filled with tears.
i'll go to sch with swollen eyes.
its gonna be FOREVER.
forever tt u're going.
i guess i no longer get to see u as often.
the word forever tt u sae,
give a shock to me.
what have u been doing outside?
why all this?
why does all this happen?
i said not to cry,
but before i can realise,
my eyes start to tear.
tears kept flowing as i think of the dae approaching.
i reminisce on daes we've spent together.
never forget how i once saw u sitting at the corner,
without anyone to turn to.
without anyone to talk to.
without anyone botherin u.
this must have hurt,right?

because u've brought me here,
u make me suffer together with u.
i noe all this has become a destiny.
n none of us can be blame.
u will never noe wad u have caused.

oh mine;
i wish all this could just end.
i wish all this would be brought behind me.
as a part of my memories.
things n problems cant be compared.
PLEASE;
end this.
bring it behind me.
take away the pain.
bring me along.

~feel the heart ache as everything's written down.
i'll always be standing along the link way.
n if ever u want to return one dae,
i'll always welcome u back into my heart.
i wish my journey would be completed soon.
i dun want to live long.
hurry bring me up.

i know ur looking down at me from heaven.
u've become my sky.
the only thing i'll look up to,
when ever im feeling down.
i noe u're the only thing i can turn to.

seriously,
i dunno how to speak up.
i dunno how to open my mouth n cry.
i dunno how to open my mouth n talk.
i can only run to the toilet n squat at the side to cry,alone.
who can i run to?
i cant even voice out what ive wan to sae.
help me.
im choke with unsaid truth.

seriously i wanted to sae;
dun go.
please DO NOT go.
please DO NOT leave me alone.

people asked me
'why pierce?'
'why tattoo again?'
but who knows?
my heart hurts more than a million times.
every pain is not in there,
its in my heart.
XINTONG.

its getting too late.

1:51 AM

its getting too late.
u'll never love me anymore.
regret.regret.regret.
regret knowing you.
regret loving you.
regret holding on.
regret missing u.
u are GONE-!

dearest love,
u're missed.

thanks for those times.
i bet u'll never be forgotten.
miss hearing ur voice.
miss ur laughter.
miss ur smile.
miss u pinching my face.
miss u messing up my hair.

daddy,
even though we've drifted.
u will never be forgotten by me.
i noe u wont be reading this.
but seriously u mean alot to me.
u mean more than anyone else.
but time brought us too far apart from each other.
will it be fate that bring us back into each other arm again?
will u miss me more than i miss u?
i'll say goodbye for the two of us.
u tore me apart .
u break my heart.
u make me cry.
ive decided to forsake everythin for u.
but before i even can do it,
u're gone.
im sorry.
its too late.

you're always on my mind.
i cant make u stay,
if u realli choose to go.

i dislike people who hurt anyone closed to me.
i dislike people who give excuses just to end the r/s.
i dislike people who can easily let a r/s go.

i feel the pain as well for ur sake.
maybe its not even love.
it a love that has just slip thru the tip of ur finger.
it's gonna be hurtful.=x

memories shared.

Monday, May 19, 2008 8:38 PM

DADDY NUER MISS U ALOT ALOT~

too serious too soon.

8:31 PM

everything's turning against me.
too late to even regret.
what past has past.
i miss derek.
i miss sky.
i miss ah yi.
my birthdae approaching.
will they even remember it?
i hope to be happi that's all.

*frens out there,how have u been recently?*

MISSES AND LOVE FROM ME.

quoted from yinjie-born into this world alone,
end up also leaving alone.

unwanted.

Sunday, May 18, 2008 7:11 AM

im unwanted.
daddy n mummy's gonna go.
i have to face this all alone.
im a nobody want child.
its better to go back than staying out here.
i just dunno why all this thing will happen to me.
as im typin,im crying here.
tears just cant stop flowing.
maybe i should adapt to it.
and even though no matter how much i hate u,
after all u're still my ______.
i wish u well still.
the word forever tt u said,
just make me realised tt i'll nv have u back here anymore.
please return.
because my life wouldnt be complete without u.
how much i wish i can shout;
dun go.dun leave.
why mus u leave me alone?

I WANT TO DIE,
CANNOT DIE.
I DUN WAN TO LIVE,
BUT I STILL MUST.

live on,
go back.
and u'll still be forgiven by all of us.
no matter how much i hate u,
a part of me still love u=]

When I am down and oh my soul's so weary
When troubles come and my heart burdened be
Then I am still and wait here in the silence
Until you come and sit a while with me

You raise me up so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas
I am strong when I am on your shoulders
You raise me up to more than I can be (x4)

goodbye to u

4:26 AM

im feeling pain n my heart.
im going crazy.
behind these smile,
is a broken heart that has yet to be mended.
i think crying alone is the best way for me
i want a life.
i want a way out.
i need direction.
i need secure.
i need assurance.
too many things bottling inside my heart.
i need to let it out.
i realised thaat keeping everything inside my heart is a no-way thing.
im burdened.
i feel so choke suddenly.
argn its so painful.
get it out of my life.

i realised.

2:13 AM

i realised,
nothing actualli last forever.
many say that i've changed.
i just want a happy go lucky life.
everythin seems to be falling apart.
so this is goodbye,
i actualli realised after so long.
all this are just beautiful nightmares that i've encountered.
i wanted so much to be loved.

derek-my dearest daddy,no one can ever replaced him.
he mean more than anyone to me.
sky-mr sky,so how do i say goodbye?
siang-mrbubblegum,the love of mine,what do u expect from me?
germaine-my dearest gal gal,im so glad for our 11yrs frenship=]
jeff-my ex korkormi miss those times when we stand by each other.
ah yi-sister,we drifted but i noe tt e were once close.
xiuting-my dearest didi,must grow up,okie?

i miss all of them.
but everything has changed.
but im still glad that all of u ever step into my life before=]
my fren,till we meet again in this world=]

above are pictures with them.