.the sweetest love of all.

my pretty boy.

Thursday, December 27, 2007 11:14 AM

u noe how it feels having me to think of you.

u noe how it felt to miss sumone in a reali bad way.
u noe how heart broken it would be to miss sumone yet not bein able to see them.

u noe how torturing it will be loving someone who wont love u back.

i stared at ur pictures.

i stared at ur smile.

i stared at ur coolness.

i stared at you.

ure simply lovable.

ure simply loved.

ure simply missed.

ure simply wanted.

ure simply cool.

ure simply cute.

ure simply handsome.

ure simply hot.

but sadly,

i'll never get you.

ure not mine.

n u'll never be.

my pretty boy,

why must you go?

why do u have to leave?

thoughts kept on rummaging thru my mind.

without you im feeling lost.

i need u back badly.

though i noe u dun need me anymore.

but this is such a pain.

a pain in my heart.

without you,

im in a world full of pain and sorrow.

i thought of you,

with tears filling the brim of my eyes.

cause we simply end it all.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007 10:51 PM

im sorry.

sorry for all the ive done.

i didnt mean to get drunk and end up letting u mistaken me.

we've pulled thru it all.

but we have to end it still.

gosh,wad a pain i feel.

f**K!u sae i want to end it.

but i guess its u who wants to end this.

u simply just mistaken me in everything.

u wan to keep the things,

than keep bah.

yesterdae still push me fall down.

i noe u care.

but ure simply too over protective of me.

i noe no guy would want their love to be seen with another guy.

but seriously there's nothing.

my gosh.

if u tink tt ure the only one who must be strong,

den keep everythin inside ur heart.

than go ahead and do so.

others around u may even be more sadder den u and all.

pls,stop it.

im not venting my anger,

i just feel...unfair!

everytime also i do wrong thin.

u nvr do wrong thin la hor...

most perfect person is u.

everytime u will mistaken tt i did sth.

so wad if u see it all with ur eyes.

but ure just seeing it from a distance.

ure aint there to here about wad we talk.

action speak louder den words,

yes i know.

but hey,dun because u sae tt u saw it all,

u think tt ur perception is right.

let me tell you,

its wrong.

wad else do u expect from me?

for this few days,

im so afraid of losing u.

ive been giving in.

i give in to u till im not myself anymore.

i just want to go back to the past.

thats all i want.

u jus dunno how torn i am.

ive tried.

ive really tried.

and i believe uve tried too.

but wad else do u expect from me?

i dun expect anything from u.

i just wanna go back to the past.

ive tried.

tried hard enough.

but guess,

i still failed.

to him.

Friday, December 21, 2007 5:56 AM

i felt like crying for you once more.
i thought im long over you,
but every single time when i stare at your photo,
i get so weak inside me.
i told myself its pointless crying for you.
but you left me here along,
with a broken heart to handle all my pain.
why am i crying?
why am i thinking?
i sang this love song with you.
but i sang it all alone at the end of the song.
to think,
you've never told me that you like me before.
nothing hurts like love.
nothing hurt so bad.
nothing hurt so much. i just miss you like crazy.
but every single lie you sae, makes me hate you more.

FUCK!i sae FUCK!
i dunno why im feelin this wae.
argh!!!i feel so....
dunno how to describe but this pain is...argh!!!
and im running out of reasons to cry.

i feel so make use la can.fuck!

i dun deserve al this shit.

i nvr even bother u,

why mux all of u bother me!knn!

i felt like shedding a tear.

4:09 AM

firstly,
i pass my n level=]
my frenship with germ okay alreadi=].
i finally end my two months of working=].
but my aunt has just pass away=[.

aunty mary,
i miss you.
u used to see me grow.
u used to be the one who make me smile,
u used to be the one who i find so irritating.
u used to be the one i love teasing.
when i was young,
i still remember how i dislike going out with you.
simply because u always embarrassed us in front of the public.
when u use to call us up and ask us to go out with you,
we would always find excuses to avoid the outing.
you use to call us up whenever u watch the tv n come pass nice show.
u nvr fail to wish every single one of us a happi birthdae every year.
whenever u have money,u would always bring us out to eat n treat us good food.
ure my closest aunt,
ure the best aunt i ever had.
ure someone who would hold me up in ur prayers.
ure my best aunt.
someone who dote n love me alot.
someone who makes me laugh n even get angry.
i rmb there was once when i had a quarrel with u.
and we didnt talk for a week.
but we still end up talking together.
though i nv reali show u tt i care.
but deep down i do.
and i love this aunt i have.
on the dae my grand ma die,
aunty mary never fail to attend her wake.
despite having difficulties in walking,
and i have to walk over to support her.i sae the frail aunty mary.
i saw how weak she is.
i remember when ah ma is about to be cremated,
she pass out.
on 30nov,aunty mary called me.
but i didnt answer her call.
as im in a bad mood and i noe she'll talk alot.
i didnt get to hear her voice.
to see her smile.
on her deathbed,
i told her.
aunty mary,i wan u to live on.
u can pull thru.
u must pull thru.
i know u dote on me alot.
im taking my results tml,
i will tell u my good news.
but u must wait on my good news.
u cannot die.
faster wake up .
u stil havent go watch movie with us.
i havent treat u to good food.
and i believe tt she can hear me.
i saw tears at the corner of her eyes.
but 3 hours later,
our family members were all told to go to the icu room.
every one stood there,
holding on to a cold hand,
surroundin the bed.
i keep telling myself.
aunty mary wont die,she'll live.
but her heart beat drop from 90+,to 30+ and slowly drop till 15.
finally,on dec17,at 1045pm,
aunty mary was pronounced dead.
shock?should i use tt word?
well she died too sudden,
i havent reali accept the fact tt she's gone.
aunty mary,now u'll be in heaven with ah ma.
no pain.u can walk properly.no more dialysis.
no sickness.i believe that its u who want to leave.
though ure only 49 yrs old.
thanks for bringing joy into my life for this 16 yrs.
thanks for being such a great aunty.
thanks for letting me know u.
thanks for being a part of my life.
thanks for all those times we shared.
thanks for all those craps we talk.
thanks for all those gossips we have.
thanks for ur nv failing love.
thanks for ur care n dote for us.
thanks for loving me.
till we meet again in heaven,
i strongly believe tt u're look after me down from heaven.
though i'll never get to see u again,
to hear ur laughter,
to see ur smile,
to see u.
but u'll stil be a vivid memories in my mind.
i love this aunty i have.
no body can replace u.
as for my beloved priscilla jiejie,
dun worry ,
i'll go over to find her if i have the time.
and i'll go over to take a look at ur pictures when im free.
thank you.

this are pictures of my beloved aunty.
i miss her so so so so much,
never would i know she'll leave this world so fast.
i haven reali get over my granny's death(she died 2months ago).
and now its my aunt's death.

in memories of you,goodbye.

no words to explain every thing that has happen.

Friday, December 14, 2007 10:11 PM

are you just my imagination boy?

why is it that the memories seems so vivid yet seems like its also fading off.

this dreams is so sweet yet painful.

everything just happen like in a split seconds.

i want to ask you this.

are u still angry with me?

im sorri but seriously i nvr contact him anymore.

where has the ten years frenship go to?

i think,we'll call it to an end.

since we will nvr be like before anymore.

things will never be the same again.

the hurt ive brought upon you.

the unexplained truth.

the misery n pain.

dun push it to me.

dun push it to others.

im sorry.

i know many has been mistakening me all this while.

where is those who said tt they will be cemented to my heart?

who sae they will pull me through?

i am lost in a world of my own=x

I thought that we would just be friends.

Things will never be the same again.

It's just the beginning it's not the end.

Things will never be the same again.

It's not a secret anymore.

Now we've opened up the door.

Starting tonight and from now on.

We'll never, never be the same again.

Never be the same again.

Now I know that we were close before.

I'm glad I realised I need you so much more.

And I don't care what everyone will say.

It's about you and me.

And we'll never be the same again.

the scar left in my heart.

i miss you.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007 6:10 AM

I remember when I still believed the things you said

Never would have thought that this would come to an end

How was I to know that you had

Another Someone New

I recall the days I loved you in a million ways

Suddenly You and me From friends to History

I realised that my trust ain't coming back no more

Cos My Love For You

Will Always Last Eternally

You are in my heart

I loved you from the start

Baby it's Hard To Believe

That You and I were never meant to be

Does anybody know this feeling of despair

When you really love someone When You really care

it's hard to walk away

When I really wanna stay with you

Does anybody know it tears you up inside

When you tried to decide

Between what's wrong and right

Gotta know for sure

That my love aint coming back no more.

baby,i miss you.

im saying goodbye.

Sunday, December 2, 2007 7:00 AM

you've left.

_____e,___s,_______e,___t,____k.

all five most important peolple have left my side.

finally.finally after so long of endurance for them.

they've decided to leave me.

leave my life.

i hope they will be happier.

they will be so much happier.

since all they sae is just ME.

ME causing misery into their life.

hurting them so badly.

making them so upset.

like wad they sae,im a jerk,a fuck.

im nothing now to them.

my most important frens...

they are GONE.

im not feeling happier,

nor am i okie.

i just feel so broken suddenly.

maybe this is wad they have wanted all along.

they will be happier.

the changes from them...

this entire year,

im so happi spendin time with them.

but all i get in return is them breakin my trust,

hurtin me and ganging up against me.

i dun want all this.

i wan to go.

i want to go.

as for jack's issue,

im letting go.

ive already did.

what's the word to describe this 2 weeks?

FOOL!playing,fling.

this is all i can sae.

this i all.

i think im okie.

dun worry.

i'll be fine.

end of year approaching,

i want to forget all of them.

by this year.

they will no longer be a part of me.

goodbye.

im sorri.

again n again im being betrayed.

again and again im bein accused wrongly.

again n again no one stand by me.

again and again they ignore me.