.the sweetest love of all.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:49 PM

i think monkey IS adorable.

and u jus look like one.

even when u aren't talking =)

you got me clinging on to u;

and dangling there.

IF ONLY,
he knows how i feel.

perhaps he dun even notice that i even exist.
nobody in the world ever make me feel this way.
its just you.
and i want to be noticed. XD

if only;

9:51 AM

if only;
if only you know that i love you.

i feel unwanted.
phew. =x

why do i have such a friend?
its so disgracful.

to the question why.

7:10 AM

why?
because;
if only,
if only,
if only.

if only,
is the only words i can use to describe my 'right-now' feeling.

nobody to turn to,
i shall turn to blogger for a long speech of my discomfort =)

if only;
u are not who you right now.
if only;
u can be who i long to have.
if only;
u are not u.
if only;
i have somebody to talk to.

janelle,
u will never understand how i feel.
yinjie,
dun be so sensitive bcuz its getting on my nerves.
germaine,
gal!hurry back home.surprisingly,i'll miss u so much. & lets go drinking one dae =)
cheryl,
thanks for being there.ur nagging helps sumtimes. XD

dear diary,
is sth going wrong?
i feel uncomfortable.
nah,
i hate this feeling.
perhaps im just too exhausted?

where has everyone gone to?

is it u,or me?

5:38 AM

is it you,
or is it me?
felt happy with ur presence,
but its rather awkward,
now that i realised,
we are only like this..

~~IF ONLY,~~
~~u are not who you are.~~
=x

thanks XD

Sunday, July 27, 2008 3:55 AM

i think monkey's cute.
and so are you XD.

people say its better to crush than to be in love.
maybe its better for us to be lke this.
i love u =]]]]]]]]

i wanna tell u tt i love u.

1:26 AM

i wanna tell u,
ILOVEYOU XD

ps:i think monkey is cute.
so is dinosaurs =]

hello all XD

12:53 AM

hello every unhappy people,
life is colourful.
dun be too upset.
because u can onli live once.
though life doesnt owax go ur way,
but u have to pull thru.
u cant possibly be unhappy in life for a long time.
im sure one dae u'll be able to find ur ways in life XD

love=]

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 11:45 PM

congrats to me XD.
i passed my 3 exam.
i thought i would failed =x
but thanks goodness i didnt =].

thomas bully me the entire of ytd =x.

ps:misses*

ppl do change.

12:21 AM

people will change.
and im sorry.
sorry for everything tt happen before.
i know u hate me.
im sorry.
i know u are happier now.
im sorry.
thanks for last time.
and thanks for being my hi bye fren still.
i only have a word to sae,
SORRY.
sincerely,deep down from my heart,
wo zhen de hen dui bu qi ni.
sorry,
from the bottom of my heart.

i know its too late to regret.i've never regret being yours.never regret loving u.i just regret not cherish u as my dearest fren

i realised.

Monday, July 21, 2008 10:45 AM

i realised that im not as strong as i always think i am.
i need a break.
everything is just turnin out so wrong.
can someone tell me what am i supposed to do?

it'll end,just sooner or later.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 10:08 AM

to someone ive known for more than half a year.
someone who i will never forget,forever.
thanks for being there for me once,
when i needed u reali badly.
and yes,after so long,
this post is for u.
i know.
i know u do care.
i know u dote on me.
i know u still love me.
but i dun feel it anymore.
u are just u now,
and im just me.
we will never be together ,anymore.
it hurts,
when i think of the past.
when u used to make me happy.
try to stand by me,
just to make me smile when im sad.
try to wipe away those tears ive shed.
bring me go catch supermario,
bring me go catch sweets.
yes,
u used to be the one.
the one n only who i know will always stand by me.
but u're different now.
u are no longer who i used to know.
all u noe is to disappoint me again n again.
i need ur love,ur frenship.
but i want u to know tt my leaving,
is to make sure u will be able to wake up fromm all those utopia u're leaving in.
life's not as bad as u think it is.
its just how u face it.
my heart is bleeding in pain,
my souls are crying.
my tongue longs to speak.
my eyes wants to see the direction.
yes,
im about to break down soon.
as i told myself to be prepared.
to be prepared for another heartache,
to be prepared to go thru life without someone.
well,
i've lost a friend
someone who used to be so dear.
someone who used to be the one.
but still,
IVE LOST YOU.
there's no words left to be said between us.
because now,
we are of different world.
there's nothing left to be said.
still,
i thank u for the footprints u've left in my life =]
happy birthday in advance.

where are u?
where are all those who realli once dote on me before?
where are all those who i realli lean on when im down?
where are all those who owax try to make me smile when im down?
where have all of u gone to?

and yes,
im alone now.
i used to think i'll be happier by leaving all of u.
well,infact,
i really did.
but sometimes i'll fall apart.
tired.
tired of everything.
i have to be stronger than last time XD.

i feel the distance.
i realli do.
but i cant do anything.
i can only let fate bring us to where we have to be.
i cant stop reality from changing.
because it would happen sooner or later.
i feel torn,
devastated.
why do i feel this way?

ps:GAL;did u feel the distance between us?
im sorry for being really busy nowadays.
sorry for spending most of my time at work,
sorry tt ive neglected you.
somehow,
after i told u tt dae,
tt im not worthy to be ur fren,
i gave up.
maybe its because,
by realli trying very hard to be the one u need,
i still failed to do so.
sorry for all this shit im giving u.
somehow,
i feel unhappiness in my heart.
maybe u wouldnt turn to me anymore,
maybe u'll be happier off without me.
i dunno.
i dunno what happen.
i think of u,
i think of me.
and it always ended up with a US .
i dunno how am i supposed to describe.
we would always be as one.
we would never be broken up.
i used to think,
not even the strongest wind can break us apart.
i used to think,
we have each other.
everyone can see,
u were never there when i needed u.
but i know u have tried.
gal,
its not u who jus cant give me wad i want,
its me,
its me who's expecting too much.
we have a long road ahead of us.
we stil have a long long long long journey to walk on.
have we lost each other?
we didnt,right?
tell me that ive never lost u at all.
i feeling uneasy.
miss those days when we were realli close.
but i realised,
its owax me who try to pull our friendship closer.
its owax me who take the initiative to take the first step.
well,
its jus a feelin of US.
a mixed feelin of happiness n sorrow.
phew,
long time infact.
realli long to pull thru it.
i dunno what is reali goin on between us.
how have u been?
im sure u have alot to say to me.
ive always hope we'll be the best of frens.
where we have no secrets between each other.
but im sorry i have always been doubtin u.
i know there are many things u kept from me,
and u wouldnt say.
because u wouldnt even bother to think of how to say.
u'll end up sayin tt u dunno.
what exactly happen to us?
maybe u wouldnt be feeling how im feeling,
u wouldnt feel as though between us,
there's sth.
which drift us further n further from each other.
i dun understand,
what has realli happen to us?

ps:yj,i know u must be wonderin what happen to me,
dun worry,im alright.
because u taught me to be stronger than before .
life goes on,
both of us are struggling.
i wont fall back.
trust me. =]

get out.

Friday, July 18, 2008 9:05 AM

i dunno if u will be readin this.
but i jus hate u for the way u're treating me now.
and yes,
im hating more each day.
i dunno what lead the two of us to become lke this.
ur existence in my life is causing so much misery.
i hate u for all this shit u're giving me.
somehow im still in some pain,
some pain which will always stays forever.
because the hurt is way too deep.
fuck,
i hate you bt at the same time,
i love u as a friend.

if u're moving on fine,
than so be it.
i will show u tt i am as well.
i dun need to be treated as a fool in ur mind.
bcause its u who dunno how to cherish me.
im so gonna prove to u,
the hurts u gave,
will make me stronger,
instead of breaking me apart,
this ain't u,
moron.
mine,
u're giving me hell i wouldnt wan to go thru.

ps:janelle, he wouldnt reply me =x

fallen.

8:37 AM

somehow,its still quite painful,
as i chat with you,
and all the memories just flash back.
as i continue chatting with u,
i start asking myself,
why cant we go back to where we used to be standing?
i didnt run out of time to love u,
did i?
i only lose you to someone else.
maybe i wasnt good enough for u to be loved?

i still miss u
&and u'll be the ne im thinking of =]

Monday, July 14, 2008 11:31 AM

alright,

as u can see,

the guy in the picture is my ex stead yow mingyi.

hahas.

its been so long since we met.

like...

5 years?

and his my first ex stead.

hahas.

so noisy,

at night suddenly sae wan cum find me.

and disturb me =x.

anywae,

had fun sitting down and talk to him just now.

tml im gonna work.

and ah siang cuming fetch me =].

i miss someone.

i really do.

going work tml/

yeah!

but *ahem not working =x.

adi know about it.

im afraid he will spill the milk out.

evern khurail also know.

hopefully *ahem dunno =]

i kept everything derek give me in a box,

i teared.yes i did.

but im so sure it's gonna be the last time.

as im realli moving on VERY fine in life.

why let go so fast?

because its him.

its derek foo.

and i have to force myself to let go.

well,

i managed to.

i'll bring the memory along =]

u will be missed for sure =]]

u were the one.

Saturday, July 12, 2008 11:43 AM

u were the one,
who always stood by me.
u were the one,
who i have been missing.
even though u're gone from this world,
i still miss u.
i noe i have to move on,
trying to go on without u in my life.
but nobody were closest to me than u.
u dote on me.
u loved me.
u cared.
thanks for ur nv failing love.
i miss u.
till the days we meet again,
up in heaven.

going on n on.

9:36 AM

going on and on.
life's like this.
going to work,
coming home to sleep.
keeping myself really busy.
suddenly feel so lonely.
because i have no love XD.
hahas.
but its okay.
i have the love of my colleague n my dearest fren !=].
sometimes its best to feel this way.
single,
and not in love.
i should be happy than=].
im happier nowadaes.
even though memories jus keep flashing back.

half a year has past so fast.
and everything has change.
nowadays think back of memories spend with zhihao.
he used to dote on me so much.
but its my fault for all this.
and i dun blame him if he hates me now.

so many thing happen.
so many ppl change.
so many ppl walk in n out of my life.
im thankful for having yinjie by my side nowadays.
i know she dote on me alot.
to think i actually disappoint her so much.
she see me change.,
from last time till now,
but she never failed to stand by me.
and yes,
thanks to her,
she make me stronger than yesterdae,the past,everything=].

i saw a young girl,
realli young.
around the age of 3.
i told her,
'when u grow up,
dun ever have ur heartbroken because of guys'.

and as i reflect back,
many things changes.
i do miss some things,
but somehow i hope i'll be able to be strong.
strong to pull thru,
n bring those memories along with me as i walk on in life.
i believe everyone come and go.
so learn to cherish every single min u have in life.

girl,
im grateful for everything that happen to us.
because it makes us stronger.
and make our friendship stronger.
u may not know,
but ur frenship mean so much to me,
sorry for all those disappointment.
and thanks for all those happy times.
i miss u.
and i believe our frenship will last,
its okay if there are times u wasnt there for me.
its okay if u hurt me alot.
it okay if u cant find ur true self.
u noe im owax here.
u noe i'll always be ard.
and i miss those time when we sat down n tok.
when we cry together.
when we really enjoy ourselves so much.
when we tok about others together.
when we had little fights over something.
11yrs..
11yrs of frenship.
we see each other change.
from pri1 all the way till now.
see each other grow up.
how we used to tease each other.
how we completely forget to contact each other for months.
but everything still pull us together again=].
if one dae we ever lose contact,
i'll just cry.
thank you girl.

getting emotional.
as though time is realli passing by so fast.
indeed,
it realli is.
alot of goodbyes havent been said,
and we'll never get to meet up again.
didnt know the words we said was meant to be the last.
didnt know the hug we gave each other was the last.
didnt know the fight we had,break us apart.

走到了最像朋友的出口,
我们怎么能回头?

记得要过得比我更快乐,
答应我珍惜对的人那一双手.

i miss u.

Thursday, July 10, 2008 12:01 AM

went hospital yesterday.
argh =x.
followed by go eastpoint.
than came home do chocolate.
bought girl a pyjamas.
kuromi XD.
mine is little twin star.
and she seems to be happy.
later on go polyclinic with her,
cuz she pon work.hahas.
than went parkway meet yinjie.
had dinner with yinjie,girl and family.
came home and everyone rush for toilet.hahas.
after tt go east coast park.
supposed to meet sarah n stephen.
and up,wrong destination.
so meet up with ah boy n his two fren.
we bought jin bean to drink,
and yes,again,
i was drunk.
germaine told me sth that makes e emo all the way.
its owax the three letter word WEI NI HAO.
wei wo hao is not like tt de.sigh.
xin tu rang hen tong.
hao tong hao tong hao tong.
its okay.
so going out with girl later to see fortune.,hahas!
shall take more photos=].

photos taken yesterday,with my two pony tAIL XD

off to the hospital i'll go on 15 aug =x

gonna stay there n OMG,

im scare =x.

scare to be alone there.

and its a day before my brother birthdae =x.

than 11sep i will have to go and see physcologist.

the doc say i have suicide thoughts on my mind =x.

am i that worse?

i feel that im okay.

alright.

ps:ta hen ke ai =x

Monday, July 7, 2008 5:12 AM

HELLO im back to bloggin! XD.
and it shows that i've already moved on.
hard,but i managed to.
a few more weeks and im so done with my mission!
had been workin nowadays.
and yes,
he's realli nice =].
had many nice colleagues over there.
except for some really nasty ones. =x
here are some pictures i took over the pass one week.
im realli obsessed =x.
gonna work full tml!!argh.
but off on wed n thurs =]
going cgh on wed mornin 10am.
argh*frighten*.
night will be time spend with gal ,DRINKIN XD.
n thurs will be outing with her =].
excited.
that's all folks!=]

MANY OBSESSED PHOTOS