Wednesday, October 28, 2009 10:26 AM
joanna yong;
just a fool to believe in her.
everything was perfectly fine before her appearance in ur life.
right now,
you got hurt because of her.
thinking that she could bring u happiness,
end of all,
u're sitting in front of the computer,
feeling the pain piercing thru ur heart.
what exactly am i feeling now?
ive never expected that it would be her who brought all this pain to me.
you used to say you wont lie to me,
you used to say you are always here for me.
you used to say you will never let me go.
you used to say you wont keep toning outside.
you used to say you will never hurt me.
yet in the end,
we are like this now.
you may think that im over paranoid.
but i just hate this sucky feeling thats inside me right now.
i wished you would get away from my life,
i wished you will not let me see you again.
i dun wan to be treated as a fool by you anymore.
i dun wan you to lie to me anymore.
i tried to let u step into my heart,
but times after times you are doing more things to stop me from allowing you to.
this few weeks,
first time i feel sth so strong towards u.
but its not happiness,
its pain.
pain for being treated like a fool.
pain for all this empty promises u gave.
you know i dislike ppl who lie to me,
and u did it.
you managed to make me hate u.
thank you so much for all your bullshit.
please dun let me see you anymore.
goodbye.
my dearest ever once didi,
thank you for all those happy memories you've left in my heart.
i once doted on you sooo much,
and even till right now,
i still do.
but i guess this is the end of the two of us.
from now on,
you go ur ways and i go mine.
we have nothing to do with each other anymore.
you just hurt me so much.
and i cant believe that the person i once dote on,
the person i care for so much,
the person i always love,
the person who is close to me,
the person whom i cherished alot ,
the person who i always sided,
just hurt me like this.
you may think it is a small problem,
but end of all,
this is done,
and once again,
i will say goodbye to the two of us.
xiuting,
you once mean alot to me.
but i guess its time we both go our own ways.
dun ever let me hear any news about u getting caught for pg anymore.
dun ever do anything wrong will u?
im still worried for u,
but this has to stop.
i need to let u leave me from now on,
i choose to end all this.
dun ever go home so late or run away from home.
dun ever make anybody worried for u.
dun be naughty anymore.
from this moment on,
when joanna yong leave ur side,
please learn how to think already.
dun ever let me feel disappointed that the didi i once teached,
are jus someone who everybody think tt she cannot make it.
iloveu,
my once dearest didi.
goodbye.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 11:59 AM
i wish i was a little stronger than who i could be,right now.
a saying goes like this-
'"The saddest thing in life is loving someone who used to love you."
which i do agree somehow.
i knew one day it would come,
when you will just leave my life,
leave me.
and leave all the memories here for me.
its gonna be tough as the days draw nearer to say goodbye.
i told myself that ive gotta be strong.
because people do come and go in life.
you're just a passerby in my life,
someone who left footprints in my heart.
someone who makes me happy once.
someone who i will remember forever.
God is telling me,
that its time to part soon.
just a last picture of you&me,
and till we mit again in life.
i'll miss u ,
and i promise,
you'll be the special one in my heart.
no matter where i am,
no matter who im out with,
no matter what is happenin right now,
i just feel that i cant be happy.
because what we used to be,
are no longer the same anymore.
who we are,
are just memories that will always be vivid in our mind.
if only forgetting you was as easy as loving you.
because maybe somewhere down the road,
i'll forget to remember you.
Monday, October 26, 2009 10:42 AM
to you;
you failed because you said u love me,
yet all i feel from u is just a pack of lies.
i cannot bring myself to turn back lesbian because of u again.
dunno is it because u just remind me of renee or wad,
but every single thing you do,
yes i know u are trying realli hard to step into my heart.
but i just cant seems to open it up to you.
i told u before,
i will leave u for someone better when time comes.
yet u still so persistent,
which i dunno why must u be doing all this for me?
sometimes i feel irritated,
sometimes i feel touched,
sometimes i feel hurt.
because u're doin all this for someone who u will never get.
you say you wont chap paikia,
end up you got taiji.
you say you wont lie to me,
end up you confess tt stt is ur ex.
you sae you nvr bluff me,
end up u finally reveal the truth abt sth..
you sae u will go work,
but time after time u bomb them.
you sae u will not mention ur ex,
end up u even dare to put me n her on conference.
every single thing u do,
though it may not hurt me,
but its still sth tt is stuck in my head.
i mean from the start,
i just hurt u sooo much.
as the days pass by,
i hurt u even more..
and im slowly beginning to feel tt,
maybe by hurting u continuously,
and ignoring u..
you will slowly get to see the picture tt i dun wish to lead u on.
my dearest,
you get so jealous over every fren of mine whom u claim to be 'my flings',
perhaps those are ppl i've crush before,
but that doesnt mean that i still have feelings for them.
and by this,
it doesnt show tt u can retreat me this way too.
although it may be only going a month or so,
but i know that times when we two hang out together,
when u fetch me after work everytime,
when you send me to work,
when u take care of me when im having fever,
when u dun have enough sleep,
yet u company me go take passport,
when i go missing and u waited for me for hours outside,
when i throw tantrum at u,
and u uttered not a word.
when i use violent on u by throwin pillow,
you still stupid stupid sit there let me beat.
looking at those pictures we took,
realli realli,
there are some which makes me feel that we are very happy when we are out together.
ive once said,
only someone will make me cry so badly,
and u are there to make me happy.
you wont make me cry,
and i hope u will not.
but my dear,
just dun make urself in so much pain,
if its too painful, let it go and i'll be happy for u.(:
Thursday, October 22, 2009 11:40 AM
im losing grip of everything.
everything seems to be falling apart in my life.
im trying to stay as strong as i wished i could be.
but everytime im alone,
all those memories just ponders .
telling myself that everything is just a foul play,
never getting right with it.
because everything is just meant to be,
you have to come and go in my life.
just so stucked right now.
i wish i was who i am before all this ever happen to me.
thanks to my dearest sweetheart for being there for me,
even though she doesnt noe what happens,
she's still there.
and thanks to my dearest ah cheun for spending the night drinking with me.
maybe u sense sth that's not right,
but im glad we somehow had a heart to heart talk.
i promise u i will be strong and not cry at all.
i wished i can put down all that's bothering me.
i wished the nightmare was gone.
i wished i could open up my self,
and just be as happy.
i wished all these pain has never happen to me .
i want to forget everything.
just let me be happy,
let me deserved the happiness i should have.
i wished u never entered my life before.
because right now its causing me tremendous pain.
how i wished when u're back,
i would be able to tell u how much i miss u.
joanna yong,
just be strong,
just be who you are infront of others.
life still goes on.
18 yrs of pain is enough,
time to get a life for yourself.
no matter how painful it is,
just let it go.
time will slowly heal all the pain.
sometimes acting too strong is pointless.
there have to be times when u would break down and cry.
i know ive been there,done that...
but God,
just give me a moment of time when i'll cry in ur presence,
linger and embrace in ur arms.
i know suffering are meant to make someone stronger.
but ,
time to pull me away and make me happy....
please.
you're the reason why this is happenin to my life,
you're the reason i close my heart to everyone.
you're the reason why my life become like this.
you're the reason why im sufferin right now.
you're the reason why im no longer as happy as how i used to be.
you're the reason why this nightmares stays.
but whatever it is,
i still love you.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009 10:45 AM
everything will be alright.
goodnight joanna yong.
9:18 AM
flings,flings,flings..
and im tired of all those insecure no status relationships.
so right now i guess its time i put it all aside.
anywae,
its the end of everything because ive screwed up all.
MRCHEESECAKE;
over.
MRCANDY;
between us its true but yet impossible.
im tired having to feel awkward everytime.
time will slowly let us see if we are fated to be realli closed again.
MRGOODBYE;
you are once the one,
but time drift us apart.
and you slowly being to feel it by my actions.
nothing left to say.
its over anywae.
time to be serious with wad im feeling and going thru.
NEXT STOP---journey to the west!(:
Monday, October 12, 2009 11:52 AM
i told you many times this is goodbye to us,
yet you just keep on doin so many things which make me feel that u cannot let go of me.
and it hurts me even more to see u like this.
because i noe u are in extreme pain.
yet all i do is choose to say goodbye.
i wish you know,
i wanted you.
but i cant.
because we stil have to let go soon.
candylove,
you know that i do have feelings towards you.
why dun u just take the step forward to give it a last try?
how can i not love you?
