crying is an obvious fact that it hurts.
i wished i could rant it all out here,
but whats the point?
ytd i went out with chris,kat,xt & baby.
and had a long chat with kat,
finally i get to know sth which ive all along been wondering why.
it hurt knowing that the truth is like this.
it may be who i am,
but to think of it,
im shocked why ive become like this too.
not only to my sisters,
even my closest fren,
and ppl who used to dote on me.
ppl who truely care for me end up being reali hurt by me.
everyone who use their sincerity to befriend me,
end up getting hurt by me.
they have no fault,
but im the one.
i mean it indeed hurt so bad knowing the truth,
that many things rummage thru my mind.
but whats the point when everything has been done?
im fine after crying,
and i still have to go on with life.
at least im glad that now there's someone lesser in my life,
someone lesser to destroy me,
someone lesser for me to care for.
im happy for being who i am now,
i wouldnt wan to do anything for any change.
why would i become like this?
laughs,
i supposed its all about the hatred i have in myself.
but anywae just to sae,
i am perfectly fine.
because i like it like this.
even best when practically everyone just go.
its no doubt why renee hates me.
its no doubt why yinjie left.
its no doubt why germaine left.
its no doubt why everyone from my past,
are no longer my present nor future anymore.
and now ive stepped out of my past,
leaving everyone behind and moving forward without bringing them along,
ive step into a new enviroment with new ppl in life,
BECAUSE from the very start,
i hated it when i was left behind,
AND NOW,
im happier because i no longer need anyone.
pass one year,
i have learnt.
learnt to be strong,
to be alone,
to be independent.
and now ive made it.
i have new colleagues,
new life.
everything in the past hurts so bad i have to give it all up.
funny,
but i simply cant pass thru my own barrier in my heart.
because everyone means alot to me,
but i choose to hurt all of them.
so its best tt u guys stay out of my life,
and hate me.
i have good and close frens,
but i choose to hurt them.
i have familys that love me,
but i choose to hate them.
i have a boyfriend tt's willing to hear me out,
but i choose to keep it to myself.
i have many ppl who truely care for me,
but i shut the door to allow them into my heart.
surprisingly,
i am like this.(:
i dun deny that im very affected by this.
i dun deny that im hurt.
but im just gonna let it remain this way,
because i am perfectly fine with it.
so anyone who read this,
I DUN NEED ANY SYMPATHY.
NEITHER DO I NEED ANY OF U TO WORRY.
im perfectly fine like this.
just do a favour by staying out of my life.(:
i am so tired recently!
havent been sleeping well,
have been travelling alot in my dream,
laughs.
so broke so broke so broke..
and baby going for n check up very very very soon.
i wanna go sun tanning,
anybody free?(:
and ive decided to go back sch,
when sch resume..
nowadays i keep sleepin before baby,
because stupid ernest go download the online game,
than he is so addicted to it.
but when i have no work,
he got work.
and he lack of sleep,
is because of his own fault.
so long didnt update blog,
and im so bored right now...
and oh yes!!! my stomach every morning also pain=x.
and i lose 4kg like this for this one mth plus.
awww,
when will baby bring me go out again?
everydae work..
joanna yong is tired.=x
this time ive seen the truth,
you are really gone from my life.
you no longer want us anymore.
i know whatever u sae,
u always mean it.
am i at fault?
or this is jus the fate between us?
from the start you wasnt here,
and even until now you are still not here for me.
i used to be able to feel ur presence around me,
but this time i guess its the end.
u no longer feel u anymore,
you dun wan me anymore.
you jus dun wan me anymore.
i ued to be ur preciou girl,
but because of this,
you left me.
and im slowly beginning to accept the fact,
that ive lost you.
