nowadays im feeling alittle sucky in my heart.
that day went to meet pig,
finally after 8months plus get to mit her.
than went down to yishun,
ton with gwen,sister,sky,chris,xiuting.
after that went home to sleep.
than go for work.
ytd after work,
went down tamp with chris to mit kat n alvin.
got some problem want to settle.
end up lei,
both of them also kinda injured.
sigh lets not say about it le bahs.
when i saw kat ytd,
i felt like tellin her..
'baby i miss xiuting so much.'
a period of time i was hearin songs and everything jus flash back.
i want xiuting back.
but after readin her blog now,
i understand tt she is feeling okay le and nolonger need me.
my heart aches the moment i read that.
someone i used to teng the most.
what is exactly happenin to me??
i wish i would be able to forgive her,
but everythin that used to happen to me just stop me from doing it.
because i trusted her so much,
yet she just destroy everything.
i personally noe tt it is a small matter,
but i couldnt bring myself to get over it.
i hate myself for being so stubborn.
i hate myself for not being able to open up my heart to anyone.
i hate myself for not allowing anyone to step in.
i hate myself for allowing the most impt person to leave me.
i hate myself for causing so many problems to everyone.
i hate myself for steppinn into others life.
i wish i could be alone.
i wish nobody will ever walk in.
i wish someone would understand how i feel.
you are right,
if that day you didnt make me cry,
than we wouldnt be like this already.
its because you make me cried.
causes me and xiuting to end up like this.
and u cause me to lose faith in you already.
what i used to trust in you,
now totally gone.
i wish i could tell u that i dun wan to make u hurt anymore,
we should nt go on like this.
im so tired.
tired of everything.
i had enough...
baby,
thanks for doting on me still after so many years.
and im glad alvin actually do care for me de.
wanna apologize for everything that has happen to us.
but still,
u mean so much to me even though we have drifted apart.
thanks for enterin my life.
and i nvr regret knowing you.
